What if Marriage is Simple? 

     A character in a Hemingway story said he went bankrupt, "Gradually, then suddenly." 

     That pretty much describes my first marriage. After years of fear that she would end it, and hurt our children, suddenly it came to pass. In my extended family there may have been a regret or two, but I stand alone as the only divorcee. Bummer.

     I was properly anguished about the new world settling upon our kids, and strangely happy with my freedom. God had another idea, and 33 years ago I went to the altar again. My new love had been rejected by her first husband, and she dated no one for 15 years.

     Many of us are not good at marriage. James Sexton, a divorce lawyer, not a Christian, has some advice:

     "Just be kind to your spouse...all the things you were when you were dating. What if it's that simple? What if it's leaving a note before going to work that says, 'I married the prettiest girl in the world. See you later.' What does it cost to tell your spouse (positive, encouraging words)? What if it's just that simple?"  

     Or, today, wife leaves the note for husband, now watching the kids.

     Here's a stat: 86 percent of divorced people marry again within five years, as did I. We fail for whatever reason and try, try again. 

     Hat's off to the "greatest generation," my parents and grandparents. Divorce was rare. They knew something we don't.

         Jimmy