The Pirates Are Coming!     

   This just in:

   Scallywags have kidnapped the mayor of Tampa, demanding the key to the city. He in turn vowed, "No...we're going to fight to the death, this time." 

   Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla countered with a promise to return on Saturday. The pirates with their cannons will fill Tampa Bay with a massive invasion force. 

   If history is our guide, the invaders will get the key - and party all day. It happens every year. 

Say Again...? 

Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?
   Candidate: Women. I had an affair with my boss's wife.

Interviewer: Did you bring your references with you?
   Candidate: I tried; they couldn't get off work.

Interviewer: What makes you think you're right for a job at a fast-food restaurant?
   Candidate: I'm great with animals.

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?
   Candidate: Probably some sort of exotic beach somewhere. 

Questionnaire: Choose one word to summarize your strongest professional attribute.  
   Candidate: I'm good at following instructions. 

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      Jimmy