All-American Buyouts    

   Yesterday, in Views, you thought a $12.4 million buyout for a fired football coach was ridiculous. What would you call Jimbo Fisher's $39 million buyout clause at Florida State? That's 3, 9 and six zeros! 

   Florida's Jim McElwain, UCLA's Jim Mora and LSU's Ed Orgeron are all in the $12 million neighborhood. Those three have yet to prove they're championship coaches. So much cash is pouring into big-time programs, some coaches and their agents can name their price. 

   Poor Barry Odom at Missouri, who negotiated a measly $1.8 million buyout should the school ever let him go. But, there's a cause for his little clause. 

   A few short years ago, outsiders tried sponsoring political protests, at football games. Hmmm. School authorities caved. 

   Alumni and other donors punted; enrollment, especially minorities, declined, and the team went from national power to last place in its own conference. At least, Coach Odom can teach character. 

Can We Reach Biblical Ages?  
              Do We Really Want To?
   Average life span in the U.S. is increasing, but not good health. Scientists - after animal trials - want to try a new class of drugs to treat aging and prolong health. 

   As we age, some of our cells stop replicating due to chromosome damage. The new drug may kill these useless cells, alleviating conditions such as cardiac and vascular disease, diabetes, fatty liver, osteoporosis, degenerating spinal disks, and pulmonary fibrosis. 

   Count me in. I want to hold off glory for as long as possible. Or not. 

Outsmarting Bullies  
    Finally, we discovered a way to outfox bullies who hog exercise machines at the fitness center. We sat on one that had a sign: TEMPORARILY OUT OF ORDER. One lout pinned the sign on my back, but at least I could hog my own seat. 

      Jimmy