In the Big Inning      

   

Sports Observer Jimmy Donut predicts the action

 on Day 1 of the 2020 baseball season. 

   It's one o'clock. The Boston Red Sox visit the Tampa Bay Rays. What's this? 

MLB headquarters in New York sees the plate umpire yell "Play Ball" while inside the social distancing rule. He is banned and a substitute rushes to suit up. 

   Starting pitcher Charlie Morton on the mound realizes he forgot to bring his own rosin bag. Blake Snell takes over. After delivering the first pitch, he is ejected for licking his fingers. Chaz Roe is called from his seat in the third row above the bullpen. 

   Roe gets unlimited time to warm up, during which infielder Joey Wendel is ejected for chewing tobacco, and outfielders Austin Meadows and Kevin Kiermaier are ejected for chatting in close proximity.

   As Roe throws his first pitch, a ball, Boston's third base coach uses his fingers to whistle encouragement to the batter. He is replaced. Three Red Sox already have been disqualified for standing too close during the national anthem. 

   Boston shortstop Yander Bogarts hits a single and is tossed out for a high-five with his first base coach. His replacement, Andrew Benintendi, steals second and scores on a double by Jackie Bradley Jr., but is sent back to third for a fist-bump with a teammate near the dugout.  

   After Roe goes to the showers for spitting, reliever Jose Alvarado follows close behind for an apparent touch to the face which took New York 20 minutes to decide. 

   Manager Kevin Cash, totally frustrated, gets the boot for arguing and shows his contempt by eating sunflower seeds in plain sight. 

   It's three o'clock, as the Rays come to bat in the bottom of the first inning. 

Score: Infractions - 15. Runs - 0. 

   No one has tested positive.